kenbot_2point0

Going through quite the rough patch. I don't deal well with death, especially when it's coming and there's nothing you can do to stop it. Nothing to do now but to write through it.

 

Things I'll always remember about my grandmother:

Walking around the lake at the park (and getting yelled at for throwing rocks in lol)

The sleepovers at her house when I was little, watching Nickelodeon until way too late, and grapefruit and homemade waffles in the morning

Grandma ALWAYS "driving on two wheels" in her BIG cars

Doing puzzles and playing Uno, I swear she always had it in for me, the sweet disposition and then BAM!! the draw four card...

Yellow is a stupid color...

Family nights and get togethers

The HUGE family reunions in the front yard

All the trips to Covington to visit Great-Grandma

Playing the piano in front of the big mirror in the living room

The hundreds of snacks she ALWAYS had in the pantry

The surprise 50th anniversary party

Playing pool with her in the basement (yeah, she always won)

There are many more... these are just some of the strongest that come back

 

We will all miss you, Grandma.

 

I love you, you'll always be in my heart.

Work. Work, work, work. 40 hours a week. How many of you can say that even when you're at home, you're still at work? I can. Literally. Whatever. My Erik has been sick for about a week now, I feel so bad. I just don't know how to take care of the sickly...  I finally got the garage I've been trying to get my hands on for a year and a half now... there's some happy news :-D

A year and a half at Steeplechase. wow. I'm a big boy now. For those of you unaware, the real world blows ass. Just live with mom and dad for the rest of your life. At least then you won't have massive debt.

Everything is moving in a positive direction, however. Erik and I are very happy, and the place will be all ours very soon :-D

 

More to come....

Alright, now to bring you kiddies up to speed on the life and times of lil ol me... once again. I've had no home phone for quite a while now, which means that I've had no net access. I'm dating this really wonderful guy, Erik, for a little over a week now. He's just... just perfect for me. We have a lot in common, and I see this relationship as the one that's going to last. Thank god. :-P

As for the personal life, it's been work, work, work... and I've been hanging out with Erik, Randy, and his bf Gary a lot. It's been a blast! As for all of you who have lost contact with me, POOPIE ON YOU! My cell phone still works for text AND PHONE CALLS, 290-7019, blow my shit up! I've been missing you all!

More updates soon to come!

So, my car almost got repoed and my cell was cut off today... oh happy day.

So, this past wek has been really interesting... let's see. where to start...

Took a trip last fiday to Sherman, TX. 15 hours one way for the man Randy loves. lol. Hey, I'm always up to support a friend in need. Got to make a really cool trip to Dallas too. I really did enjoy myself, and I got to try a lot of new things even though we were only down there for a few days. Then came the suck-fest.

I called off work on monday, due to the fact that I was still in Texas (whoops). I have never in my life seen so many people get shitty with me for being gone from work for ONE DAY. Now, I could've dealt with this, but it went on ALL WEEK.

Anyway, this week has been a lot of fun and an interesting experience. I look forward to the weeks to come, 5 people in my apartment isn't nearly the challenge i thought it would be, due in part to the fact that randy and david are very clean people (thank god)... lol, well it's time for me to get a move on, lots of things to accomplish on my day off!

If you do this, that would kick ass.


If you read this,
You must post a memory of me.
It can be anything you want;
It can be good or bad,
just so long as it happened.
Then post this to your live journal,
To see what people remember about you.


Keri is still a lesbian.

So, my lease here at Steeplechase finally expired, and of course I renewed for another year. I didn't realize I'd been here so long, it feels like I'm just finally getting settled. It's the longest I've been living anywhere in the last 2 1/2 years, I'm just glad I've finally given up being a nomad and settled in.

On a lighter note, my social life has finally picked back up. It's about damn time. Aaron and I have been hanging out quite a bit lately, and it's been nice to have a gay friend that doesn't want something more than your friendship out of you. Randy FINALLY came over after a 3 month hiatus, with his new boyfriend, David, and he seems very happy. Things are starting to improve for him, and all I can say is he deserves it.

I on the other hand, have been working my ass off for the last two weeks, making up for being shorthanded at work. It's gonna be fun here soon, cause I may be the only on on site for a week or two. Good times.



Keri is a lesbian.

You need a bit of... OOH SHOCK TREATMENT, you're dancin' like a real live wire...

"Emptiness has it's solace in that there's nothing left to take." -Ani DiFranco





I need to get out of this slump.

Ever try talking to someone you thought was your friend, but ends up not being your friend at all, just some awful sadistic jackass that you're sure is telling their friends that you're stalking them, even though you've had no contact with them in months? ...Well, I have. And it sucks.

As I sit, staring blankly at the computer screen,

I think to myself: What the fuck.

Where is my life going now that it wasn't 8 months ago,

How long can I continue this facade?

Pretending to be happy while my life festers away.

 

Sometimes the lonliness is unbearable,

I contemplate ending it all,

I just want someone to know how I feel,

But no one seems to really care.

 

So I sit here, staring at my computer screen,

wondering what it's all worth.

Wondering if maybe one day, maybe,

I might be alright again.

And I leave behind,
This hurricane of fucking lies,
And I walked this line,
A million and one fucking times,
But not this time.

So, I've made the official decision that gay.com is an invariable meat market for whores. People who are skinny, preppy, pretty and dimwitted need only apply. For the rest of us in the REAL world, those of us who are bitter and jaded by the images produced in the media as to what the gay community is and how gay males in our society are supposed to look, we get shafted. Six disturbing months later, despite all efforts, I remain single. Maybe it's my attitude. Maybe it's the extra 20 pounds I carry around. Maybe it's my live journal picture. (grins) Whatever. All I know is, I'm fucking sick and tired of trying to put myself out there just to be shot down every mother fucking time. I don't ask for much more than someone to talk to. But I guess you have to be "hot" for that, too.

Wonder no more where the fucked up traditions of the catholic church come from...

 

New cell, same number... blow it up, bitches. 290-7019

Two family functions + One weekend + One whole tank of gas = One pissed off gay boy!

Okay, so it's officialy been a fat hairy minute since My last entry. Let me update my life for those of you who may have missed out:

First off, the biggest mistake I've ever made in my entire life, Chris, is gone for good. It's at times like these you have to ask yourself, "What in the hell was I thinking?", then the ever present "How many times did it have to be physical before one of us went to jail?"... All I can say is, it's over and I'm moving on with my life.

I have two awesome roommates now, Carolyn and John. Ya know, always there when you need them, really level-headed, and they have some of the most gorgeous animals...

As for the dating scene, I'm not actually seeing anyone. Haven't been since semi-quasi-sorta dating Todd... (Chris, if you're reading this, yes, I lied about Randy, but just so you don't look too smug, I cheated on you twice while we were dating, you were terrible in the sack.) I've kinda sworn off the dating scene for a while, to gather myself up and get back on track.

I've kinda lost track of most of my friends, even though I only live 20 miles away... I miss all of you guys. If you're reading this, call me!

Well, I guess I'll be off now. there's your big update.

Not that you care, but... you're Takumi.


Which Initial D Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla




...Somehow, i kinda figured that one already.
Now, If i could just find me an AE86....

PurpleTriangle02: think i'll go for a walk now, feel a little unsteady
helobirmingham5: don't want anyone to follow me, cept maybe you.
PurpleTriangle02: i could make you happy you know
helobirmingham5: if you weren't already. i can do a lot of things, and i do.
PurpleTriangle02: to tell you the truth i prefer the worst of you, too bad you had to have a better half
helobirmingham5: she's not really my type, but i think you two are forever
PurpleTriangle02: and i hate to say it, but you're perfect together
helobirmingham5: so fuck you. and yer untouchable face.
PurpleTriangle02: and fuck you, for existing in the first place
helobirmingham5: and who am i, that i should be vying for yer touch
PurpleTriangle02: and who am i, i bet you can't even tell me that much
helobirmingham5: 2 30 in the morning and my gas tank will be empty soon.
PurpleTriangle02: neon sign on the horizon, rubbing elbows with the moon
helobirmingham5: safehaven of sleepless, where the deep fryers always on.
PurpleTriangle02: the radio is counting down the top 20 country songs
helobirmingham5: and out on the porch the fly strip is waveing like a flag in the wind.
helobirmingham5: you know i really don't look forward to seeing you again.
PurpleTriangle02: and you look likr a photograph of yourself, taken from far far away
PurpleTriangle02: like*
helobirmingham5: and i won't know what to do, i won't know what to say, cept
PurpleTriangle02: fuck you, and your untouchable face and fuck you for existing in the first place and who am i, that i should be vying for your touch, who am i, i bet you can't even tell me that much
helobirmingham5: i see you and i'm so perplexed, what was i thinking, what will i think of next where can i hide.
PurpleTriangle02: in the backroom there's a lamp that hangs over the pool table
helobirmingham5: and when the fan is on, it swings gently from side to side
PurpleTriangle02: there's a changing constellation of balls as we are playing
helobirmingham5: i see orion and say nothing, the only thing i can think of saying.
PurpleTriangle02: is fuck you and your untouchable face
helobirmingham5: and fuck you, for exisiting in the first place
PurpleTriangle02: and who am i, that i should be vying for your touch
helobirmingham5: who am i, i bet you can't even tell me that much.
helobirmingham5: such a good song.
helobirmingham5: and the fact that we can spout it off to eachother kicks ass.
PurpleTriangle02: yes!

Wow... An Ani DiFranco concert! I don't know how to thank Lech for his kindness... I'm so fucking stoked!